Quotations on Activism

I get into animal causes. I once came up with a method to change horses into glue painlessly with hypnosis. In my method, you take the horse into a dark room, swing a light-bulb in front of his face while the hypnotist says, "You're starting to feel sticky." Naturally, all glue manufactured this way will come with a warning label that says, "Do not snap your fingers in front of this tube."

~ Ed Bluestone

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "Did you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

~ Jake Johannsen

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

~ Mitch Hedberg

Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

~ George Carlin

I'd love to change the world, but I can't find a big enough diaper.

~ Myq Kaplan