Josh Billings Quotes

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

~ Josh Billings

After enlightenment, the laundry.

~ Josh Billings

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

~ Josh Billings

In youth we run into difficulties, in old age difficulties run into us.

~ Josh Billings

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

~ Josh Billings

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

~ Josh Billings

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

~ Josh Billings

There is [sic] two things in life for which we are never fully prepared, and that is - twins.

~ Josh Billings

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.

~ Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

~ Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

~ Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

~ Josh Billings

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

~ Josh Billings

The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor.

~ Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.

~ Josh Billings

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.

~ Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

~ Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

~ Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

~ Josh Billings

Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once.

~ Josh Billings

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

~ Josh Billings

There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.

~ Josh Billings

Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.

~ Josh Billings

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

~ Josh Billings

The wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous to reach heaven.

~ Josh Billings

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for one loaf of bread.

~ Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

~ Josh Billings

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exhalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.

~ Josh Billings

There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.

~ Josh Billings

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.

~ Josh Billings

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

~ Josh Billings

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves, but who think others are.

~ Josh Billings