George Carlin Quotes

Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

~ George Carlin

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

~ George Carlin

Is there another word for synonym?

~ George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

~ George Carlin

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

~ George Carlin

I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

~ George Carlin

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

~ George Carlin

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

~ George Carlin

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.

~ George Carlin